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by provincial-girl (MykaWells)



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: 5x13, Angst, Canon Compliant, Death, Drama, Episode: s05e13 I Am Legends, F/F, Visions, Zombies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-21
Updated: 2020-05-21
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:35:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24305992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MykaWells/pseuds/provincial-girl
Summary: Sara keeps sneaking little touches, hoping her vision will change. It's why she reaches out her pinky after making Ava co-captain. Sara holds it as long as she can, letting go just before the part of the vision where she hears Ava scream her name.Or, I had a lot of headcanons and feelings about Sara in this episode. This fic is what happened as a result. Canon-compliant, so, you know, brace yourself.
Relationships: Sara Lance/Ava Sharpe
Comments: 10
Kudos: 78





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**Author's Note:**

> As much as I like reading angst, I'm not generally one to write it. But then this happened, and it was so weirdly cathartic. I almost never finish writing anything, so I figured why not share it?

In the seconds it takes Sara to process the vision of her own death, she makes a decision. No one will ever find out about it. Because, Sara reasons, maybe that future isn’t set in stone. After all, her first visions had been of most of her team being stabbed to death, and they managed to avoid that particularly grim future.

Sara would keep it in, keep her team on task, get them to that damn time courier without distracting them with her own nightmarish visions. Worst case, she dies at the hands of what appear to be zombies. Sara has died before, knows she can handle it. Sara trusts the Legends to find a way to fix this darkest of all timelines. She trusts Ava.

So Sara plays it cool. Charlie, with her vast knowledge of mythology, would have her suspicions given enough time to think about Sara's claims that being a god has somehow made her powers _less_ potent. Instead, Sara pushes the team forward, prodding Ava to take charge, to co-captain.

She keeps sneaking little touches, hoping her vision will change. It is why Sara reaches out her pinky after making Ava co-captain. Sara holds it as long as she can, letting go just before the part of the vision where she hears Ava scream her name.

Because hearing that is the worst part. Sara can handle dying. She doesn’t _like_ it, but she can handle it. It’s something she had the tools to process. No, the very worst part is the split second right before one of the undead sinks his teeth into her flesh for the killing blow, the moment she hears Ava scream. Sara never wants Ava to hurt, especially not on Sara’s account, so Sara makes sure to let go of Ava’s pinky before that happens and is able to keep from flinching. She just looks quickly away and down at her hand.

The vision hasn’t changed.

Sara tries again after they get in the truck with Zari and John. She pulls Ava by the wrist of her jacket to the vehicle, then, once they’re all settled and her face is hidden mostly by shadows, she reaches out and presses her hand into Ava’s, lacing their fingers together. The vision goes exactly as it had before. Sara is about to casually pull her hand away when Ava tightens her grip, and Sara can’t very well pull away without arousing suspicion. She hears vision-Ava’s gut-wrenching scream echoing in her head before it all goes black. Sara just barely keeps from shivering and flinching away, instead squeezing Ava’s hand tighter.

Sara rests her head on Ava’s shoulder, and Ava absently runs her fingers through Sara’s hair. It feels like something they’ve done a thousand times, this simple, casual intimacy. It feels like home. For a fleeting moment, despite being in a zombie apocalypse with recurring visions of her own death, Sara feels safe, content.

She holds onto that contentment as they climb out of the cramped truck and hurry into the pub, remembers it as she pretends to guess that the courier isn’t charged. Sara immerses herself in that feeling as they sit around the table, as she sips her beer and listens, enjoys the closeness of her team and her co-captain in time travel and life. 

When asked what she would change, Sara is honest. In that moment, she has no regrets about where she is in life. Yes, she wishes there were more time. She desperately wishes there had been some change in the vision because Sara loves living more than she ever has in her life. 

Even as she trusts her team to fix this desperately hopeless situation, something instinctual in Sara pushes forcefully against the thought of dying in this pub, however temporary it may be. She really wishes there was another way to fix the timeline, a way that didn’t involve Sara’s violent death and Ava’s tormented scream.

In a moment of wishful thinking, Sara reaches for Ava as Zari talks, traces her fingers over Ava’s hand under the table, lingering there just long enough to see her feet being pulled out from under her. When there’s a natural break in the conversation, Sara quietly leaves the table, feels her way to the bar. Because it finally sinks in.

Her vision isn’t going to change. Sara is going to die and Ava is going to have to watch. 

Sara has prepared herself for this eventuality. To some extent, she has prepared Ava, or tried to, given her the pep talks and the reassurances that she needs. She just hasn’t prepared herself for telling Ava what is about to happen. And Ava really should know, deserves to know if she is going to be leading the team. 

So Sara is honest with Ava when she asks. Even as her heart breaks when Ava’s voice cracks with emotion, Sara smirks and reassures her that everything will be alright. Sara tells Ava that she knows the Legends can fix this mess. Sara doesn’t actually _know_ , but she _trusts_ , trusts deeply in Ava and her team to find a way, however unconventional, to save the day.

Sara is almost glad for Nate interrupting. She’s not sure how much longer she can bear pretending everything is alright when she can hear Ava’s voice waver as she does everything in her power to hold it together. She imagines Ava is crying and is glad she can’t see it because that might have been enough to break Sara’s resolve.

The team tries everything they can think of to keep the horde outside until they can’t anymore. There is a split second where everyone seems to realizes exactly what they’re up against. Sara hears Ava’s sharp intake of breath as she says Sara’s name. Sara can hear the desperation with an edge of fear, knows that Ava is panicking, because _this wasn’t_ _the plan_. She knows she needs to ground Ava in reality, however shitty that reality is, needs to empower her to lead. Because Sara knows exactly how this goes, and she really needs Ava to be the amazing leader she is. If Sara can’t change the vision, she can certainly do her damnedest to make sure this isn’t the death that sticks. 

And she kisses Ava for good measure, hard and a little bit desperate. Sara does that mostly for herself, something warm and good to hold onto, something to fight for because Sara is sure now. She knows that her death is meant to buy them time, to keep Ava safe long enough to get the courier charged. 

As Sara kisses Ava, it lights something inside of her. She memorizes the way Ava’s lips feel on hers, the way Ava holds her so tenderly. She wants to linger longer, but the zombies aren’t waiting, and Sara needs to find her way over to the pool table.

It takes longer than she would like to find the pool cue. When she does, Sara climbs swiftly up onto the table. She listens closely as zombies nearly overtaking the bar and Ava desperately tries to hold them off with the shotgun. Sara’s breath catches in her throat when she realizes this is the part of the vision where the zombies start to grab at Ava. Everything slows down and Sara knows this is the moment. It’s time.

“Hey deadheads, over here!”

Sara says it loud and clear and without hesitation. The more zombies she can get away from the bar, the longer Ava and Charlie will have to charge the courier and get safely back to the Waverider. She can feel them closing in, hear the footsteps and growling all around her. Once they’re close enough, Sara starts swinging. She quickly finds her rhythm, and even in the chaos her swings and kicks keep hitting their mark. She holds the vision in her head, predicting when a hand is about to brush her leg or a zombie is about to join her on the table. Even as Sara knows this is an unwinnable fight against an unending horde, there is an effortlessness to her movements. 

Sara knows her rhythm is going to be interrupted a split second before it happens. Her legs are pulled out from under her and the pool cue goes flying just out of her reach.

Still, Sara fights, fights like she never has before. She’s vaguely aware that her form is terrible, but every fiber in her body is telling her to fight for her life, however she can, however fruitless. She thrashes and pulls away from the rotting hands grabbing at her. Sara knows if she can just buy them a few more seconds, kill or maim a few more, the courier will be charged. She knows it’s _so_ close, can feel it in her bones.

So Sara stops focusing on the vision, stops thinking about how any minute she’ll hear that horrible scream. Instead she clings to that last kiss, to the warmth and safety of Ava holding her in the back of that truck, to all the ways she and Ava say ‘I love you’ without speaking. And everything goes quiet in her head. Because that is what she needs, that is why this is all worth it. That is something worth fighting and dying for. 

And Sara feels a peace she hadn’t felt in all her other deaths. Because, in the moments before it happens, she is certain her death will have a purpose. She is more certain than she has ever felt in her whole life that her team will succeed. Ava will succeed. 

Sara holds the zombies off for longer than she thought possible, but she has no more strength left. There are dozens of hands holding her down, faces hovering over Sara, and Sara knows she’s done. She closes her eyes, fills her mind with good things, with her adventures through time, with her team, with Ava. She fills her mind with Ava and her soft smiles and tender touches and the way she feels more like home than anything else ever has. Everything else is muted. Sara can’t hear the growls of the zombies and their feet shuffling against the floor. She barely hears Ava scream.

Sara pushes back the blackness for a few precious seconds because that can’t be the last thing Sara hears. She’s half-delirious with the pain and blood loss, but she feels a senseless, urgent need to say something.

“I’ll come back home,” Sara whispers to no one. “I promise I’ll come home. I’ll come home.”

Promises like that are hard to keep, but Sara trusts her team. She knows that they would never let her break such a promise, that Ava will make the right calls to save the day. So, with a flicker of a smile on her lips, Sara lets the blackness take the pain away.

**Author's Note:**

> I won't ask if you enjoyed that, but I would love to hear your thoughts and feelings :)
> 
> I'm also super interested to hear other folks' headcanons about what went on in this episode. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> Sidenote you don't have to read: isn't it refreshing to know that the wlw couple won't stay dead? That they will in fact be in what looks like a Star Trek parody in the very next episode. And that the folks in charge made sure we knew that by going right into a wacky preview for next week just after the end of the episode. Shows are not always like that, and I just want to say I love and appreciate you Legends.


End file.
